Dear driver

I've recently found myself talked into running a half marathon. (Note to future self--even if it sounds like fun don't commit. I don't know how people do full marathons) It really didn't seem that bad of a commitment at the time, the word half makes it sould like it's not that much work. Ha!

Today I was forced out on the road today by that nagging get your butt out of bed and hit the road kind of feeling. Unlucky for me the morning was gorgeous with sunshine screaming through the windows. Darn no crappy weather excuse today. After taking a break for Holiday festivities (which included nursing a VERY sick strep throaty husband) and entertaining four small elves, I had to get in gear. I have a date sneaking up on me.

I finally got my GPS gismo working so I have an accurate reading on my mileage, which I think is the most brilliant invention. I figured I better do the exact route I left off on and pick up where I left off to see what kind of damage I did on my eating to oblivion holiday break. Due to my handy dandy electronic device I went way further last time than I thought. Had I known that ahead of time I wouldn't have commited to doing the same route.

I love to follow the country roads I live on, not only for the lovely scenery as I'm slogging along, but also to be able to see people I know as I'm going. I had 2 honks, 3 waves and a Gatorade station to make it through today's....adventure? self inflicted insanity? oh no the word is run.

As I run on the shoulder facing on coming traffic. I see lots. People arguing, Old ladies that should not be driving, macho men that think they are really clever by revving up their cheap beater truck with really huge tires, I saw today a lady APPLYING MASCARA. Lady if you don't have time to put it on before you leave, go with out for Pete's sake. There are the courteous drivers that go out of their way to make sure I feel safe. And take the time to wave frantically, Thank you Prius drivers! Hugs.

My personal favorite is the minivan full of middle age men driving lost, before they can pull over and get the question out- I say "CABELLAS is a right, right, left at the T in the road and hang a right at the round about." They tend to look at me like how do you know where we were headed? I'M A SATURDAY RUNNER i think to myself. Thank you very much for messing up my cadence.

So dear driver: thank you for making my run interesting. See you next week.

Yours truly,
Out of my mind

We are blessed

Yesterday we departed on a grand adventure, at least to me it is. And as I was getting ready I still didn't believe we were going. I had my usual feelings of "I hope the plane doesn't crash or did I forget to pack underwear and well you get the drift. Long story short, Ryan had to go to work before our flight. It would be okay,I just had a few things needing to be done. I wanted to go early and get donuts becauSei didn't want to do dishes and it was ZACHARY'S BIRTHDAY . Sowe were in good shape to Leave and all the sudden the kids lost their brains . The counldnt find the shoes I laid out for them. They were running around in circles screaming. You get the drift. We finally get out the door early......5 minutes later Ryan. Calls saying he forgot something and we HAD to back. So we did. We were still hungry so we decited to still get donuts. Needless to say we not only didn't leave early, we left late. 10 minutes into the drive to the airport there was a rollover and all traffic was blocked. Aid cars had not arrived. I firmly believe had we left when I wanted we could have been at the wrong place at the wrong time. I was grateful to Marshall's prayer to keep us safe on our travels. We are here safe and sound

Zachary was sung to on his 7th birthday by the flight crew. And the condo we are staying in is very nice. Last night Marshall kept running around saying it's a miracle! I think it was because they stocked our fridge with soda. I laughed and was grateful for the true miracle that happened to our little family that day

all in a heart

This week Marshall discovered his heartbeat and it was the beginning of series of events that caused me to think about this remarkable organ we all carry inside. He is constantly running every where and going constantly. He stopped to be still for a moment and was suprised to feel a bumping in his "tummy." I explained that it's his heart, what it was, and why he could feel it. He then felt mine and discovered he had a bigger bumping than I did. I just told him its because his heart is bigger than mine.

Then as I lay down to rest for the night and be still, I can hear in my ear my own heartbeat so loud I have to try consiously to drown it out, due to the baby, needing to lay on my side, and my increased blood volumes at the moment. Sometimes it is so loud I feel like it could burst any moment not being able to handle another beat.

Yesterday I heard of a recent friend that I made over the summer who has tryed for 12years with her husband to get pregnant and finally she saw through ultrasound the beat of a little baby bump. I tried to imagine what it would be like wanting something so bad for so long an to see some glimmer of hope in one little heartbeat.

Today as I made my weekly trip to my midwife and getting weighed in the hall you could hear through the door the sound of woosh woosh woosh woosh woosh of the doplar machine listening into a heartbeat of some unknown mother's child in womb. I listened shortly after to hear my own Mia's beating strong as well. Remembering the week before when a machine traced the beats of her heart. Sometimes it was slow as she was resting but then she would move and her heartbeat would move faster.

There are so many things in this world that we try so hard to make last. Machines envy the power, strength, and durability of a heart's pulse. Flashlights can't even manage to be powered for longer that a month's time in our home, yet something so organic has the power and ability to fuel a person for a lifetime.

I am amazed at this evidence of God's power to create such a perfect organ to keep life going. Sometimes it's good to remember how lucky we really are.

Girls Camp part duex...

I had a fabulous time at camp. I was so focused before camp that I didn't think about the fun aspects. I was so stressed to get everything done, and organized I didn't have a chance really to look forward to it. Once I got there I was amazed at how much I enjoyed it. I had the 4th year girls. There were only 10 compared to the biggest group of almost 30. The girls I had have the biggest challenges to overcome. They were mostly 15 just getting ready to enter the independence stages of driving and all that comes with that, but already most if not all had major challenges that they are working on to overcome. I was so glad to be with this particular group. They really came together.

The stake camp people came up with lessons to teach the group during the day and I was majorly stressed about them because it was a lot and there was no time in the actual schedule to get it all done. But, as I was going through them on the first day all the girls were not that excited about being there and It looked like it was going to be a long week. But as I went through this one particular part I really felt inspired to talk to the girls about things that really didn't have anything to do with what I had prepared, but they really responded and they connected with each other. Ever since that lesson they looked out for each other and felt more comfortable being there. It was a major accomplishment that not one of them went home.

I really enjoyed getting to know the adult leaders in our free time and enjoyed the firesides, and the meals were all prepared for us so I was totally spoiled there. I hadn't eaten that well for a while, especially with all my traveling and running around. For a dessert one night they made scones from homemade bread with honey, and sugar, and jam. It was the best treat. One of my other highlights was the star gazing at the meadow. The woman teaching us was very knowledgeable about the constellations and it was a crystal clear night. One thing I do not miss is the cold shower at 6:30 in the morning, and still feeling dirty afterward.

The girls enjoyed the iron chef competition and the ropes course. One of the best parts for me though was when the 11 year old girls came up for the afternoon. My girls were in charge of showing them around. They wanted to do something special for them so they did a scavenger hunt. They partnered together and were able to point things out and be the leaders. They really stepped up and I heard them encouraging them. I saw the ones with the bad attitudes in my group try to lift up the 11 year olds that had bad attitudes. It was very fun to watch them learn and see what an effect that has on others.

Good quote

I came across this during my girls camp time:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to e brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Nelson Mandela
1994 Inaugural Speech

Mindsets

While in Walla Walla, I was required to read a book for my training and it was really interesting to me. It was called Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck. Basically it showed how people have different way of thinking about life. Fixed mindset people believe that potential is limited. They see failure and struggles as a reflection of their character. If you make a bad choice, you are a bad person. They don't take critizism very well because they get defensive. They think that talent is something you are born with or without. If a child is told Hey you are so smart, you got an A and you didn't even have to study for that test. They wont want to work at learning because that would be admitting that they are in fact not smart. The emphasis is on the outcome, not the process.

The other way was what she called growth mindset. They see failures and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth. They see it as a chance to figure something out. These people don't feel threatened by others that do well, and they are honest with themselves that when they don't win or aren't number one, they can say well that person prepared more than me. They are then able to look at it objectively and make a plan to prepare better or increase skills. This book gave lots of examples of people in many professions and looked at their success or lack of it due to their mindset or outlook on life and their relationship to other people.

I think that in different aspects of our lives we may be one or the other. The thing about it is that you can change from one to the other. It was a very interesting book that really relates to everything, raising kids, teaching, relationships with spouses, business. I would recommend it to anyone.